Article in rec.ham-radio:
From: k3mc@APPLE.COM (Mike Chepponis)
Subject: The Story of Digipeater
         Rabbit -- a No Code Fable
Date: 13 Apr 89 00:12:57 GMT
Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU
Organization: The Internet
Lines: 162
 

The Story of Digipeter Rabbit
  -- a No Code Fable
By Frank Terranella, N2IGO
 
 
 
     Once upon a time, in the far-
away kingdom of Radio, there was a
peaceful valley called Hamville,
inhabited by a group of rabbits.
Hamville was originally settled by the
Whiskey family, and the patriarch of
that family was an old hare called
Charlie Whiskey.
 
        Charlie Whiskey was a farmer
by trade.  He came to the beautiful
valley of Hamville when it was all
open meadows.  He saw the potential
for farming the vacant land and over
time he developed a thriving carrot
plantation.  Charlie Whiskey's carrot
plantation was the envy of all the
inhabitants of the kingdom of Radio.
He succeeded year after year in
producing a bumper crop of carrots.
All the other residents of the kingdom
came to Charlie for advice on planting
carrots.  Charlie would always tell
them, "The secret's in developing a
good ear."  No, Charlie didn't
have superior hearing, but he had
developed a very special skill.  You
see, Charlie picked his carrots with
his ears.
 
        In fact, Charlie had worked
hard at perfecting this skill and was
able to harvest at better than 20
carrots a minute.  All of Charlie's
family learned to pick carrots with
their ears.  Soon they were all
picking at better than 20 carrots a
minute.  Charlie was so proud of his
special skill that he insisted that
everyone who came to work at Hamville
first show that he could pick carrots
with his ears.  Charlie would not give
new settlers any land unless they
could demonstrate to his foreman,
Victor Echo, that they could pick at
least 5 carrots a minute with their
ears.  When they could pick 13 carrots
a minute, Charlie gave them more land
to work.  When they were able to pick
carrots by ear at the rate of 20 a
minute, Charlie made them full
citizens of Hamville.
 
        This process of learning to
pick carrots with your ears went on
for sometime.  In other parts of the
kingdom of Radio, other rabbits began
to pick carrots by ear.  However,
there were some noisy ducks, known as
the Quackers, who lived in the
community of Good Buddy.  They used
their mouths to pick their crops
instead of their ears.  They had much
larger mouths than the rabbits and saw
no need to use their ears.  The
rabbits all looked down on the
Quackers.  "We must always require ear
harvesting skills for entry into
Hamville," they said.  "That way we
will keep out those noisy Quackers."
So everyone who came to Hamville had
to learn how to pick carrots by ear if
they wanted to stay.  Charlie Whiskey
was adamant about that.  "If you don't
want to learn the skill of ear
harvesting then go work in Good Buddy
with the Quackers," he would say.
 
        And so the years passed, and
new methods of farming were developed.
These new methods were easier to learn
than ear harvesting, especially for
the animals who didn't have the big
ears that the rabbits had.  What's
more, the new methods were just as
efficient as ear harvesting.  As time
went by, fewer and fewer of the young
animals were willing to learn the
skill of ear harvesting.  The
population of Hamville began to
dwindle.  All the residents of
Hamville were getting on in years.  To
make matters worse, there were new
neighbors nearby who coveted the
beautiful open farmland of Hamville.
They wanted to come in and turn it
into commercial uses like shopping
centers.  And worst of all, the
pollution from the Quackers, the other
Rabbits, and the Mice (known in
Hamville as the QRM group) was having
an adverse effect on farming in
Hamville. The future looked bleak
indeed.
 
        Then, one day, a stranger
called Digipeter Rabbit came to
Hamville.  He was an educated rabbit
who had studied at the School for
Scientific Bunnies (SSB).  He had
majored in Farm Mechanics and knew all
of the latest scientific agricultural
methods.  But for all his education
and know-how, there was one thing that
Digipeter could not do.  He could not
master the skill of picking carrots
with his ears, and since he already
knew how to pick carrots more
efficiently with new scientific
methods, he was not interested in
learning.
 
        Charlie Whiskey was outraged.
"What do you mean you won't learn to
pick carrots with your ears?  Why, we
in Hamville have been picking carrots
that way for 75 years.  It's a
tradition here.  It shows that we're
special and that we're better than the
Quackers.  If you don't have the
desire to develop a good ear, then we
don't want you here in Hamville."

        But Digipeter was adamant.  He
saw no reason to learn an obsolete
skill just to stay in Hamville and he
refused to even try.  Charlie Whiskey
took the matter to the Ancient Royal
Rabbit League, which he had founded.
The ARRL decreed that everyone in
Hamville must learn to pick carrots
with his ears or be banished.  And so
Digipeter Rabbit left Hamville and
founded his own village called
Techietown.
 
        Soon, all the young animals in
the land of Radio were flocking to
Techietown.  But Digipeter had his own
entrance requirement.  A good ear and
a good memory were not enough for him.
No one could stay in Techietown unless
he could demonstrate technical
knowledge, understanding  and ability,
and the desire to contribute to the
advancement of Techietown.
 
        Digipeter encouraged all the
residents of Techietown to experiment
in the cultivation of new unexplored
lands, never before farmed.  Digipeter
showed them how to overcome pollution
problems.  He showed them how to use
the land they had more efficiently.
Digipeter even perfected a method of
farming which allowed a number of
rabbits to farm the same land at the
same time.  And while the residents of
Hamville were picking 30 carrots a
minute on a good day, in Techietown,
harvests of 300 carrots a minute were
possible.  Using Digipeter's methods,
and those developed by the other
bright, young residents, Techietown
soon became the most prosperous
village in the kingdom of Radio.
This did not escape the notice of
the Field Carrot Council, which
governed the kingdom of radio.  To
reward the residents of Techietown for
their contributions to the kingdom,
the Field Carrot Council gave
Techietown more and more land to work,
until its borders touched those of
Hamville.
 
     Meanwhile, Hamville was still
plodding along as it always had,
oblivious to the revolution in farming
occurring around it.  The old hares
still picked carrots by ear.  The
Ancient Royal Rabbit League complained
bitterly to the Field Carrot Council
about all the new land it was giving
to Techietown, but the population of
Hamville continued to drop.  When the
Field Carrot Council gave 2 acres of
Hamville property to Techietown, the
residents of Hamville began, for the
first time, to be genuinely concerned
about their plight.  Some even dared
to ask the Ancient Royal Rabbit
League to change its mind about the
need to learn to pick carrots by ear
to live in Hamville. "We need new
blood here to fight off the Field
Carrot Council," they said.  Charlie
Whiskey, now in his nineties, was
furious.  "We have to maintain our
standards.  We don't need those smart
young bunnies, we need rabbits skilled
in our time-honored harvesting tech-
niques.  We need rabbits who are
dedicated enough to the principles of
Hamville to want to learn our methods.
If a rabbit really wants to live here,
he'll learn our ways.  If he doesn't,
we don't want him.  You don't want
those Quackers to move here, do you?"
 
        But by now the residents of
Hamville had seen the writing on the
wall.  Although they genuinely enjoyed
picking carrots with their ears, they
realized that there were now other
ways which yielded just as many
carrots.  And though they would
probably continue to pick carrots by
ear as they always had, they could no
longer shun those bright young rabbits
who chose a more modern method.  A
group of rabbits, led by an elder
statesman rabbit named Elmer, who had
once served in the government of
the kingdom of Radio, asked the
Ancient Royal Rabbit League to change
its policy.  The League agreed and
issued a decree that henceforth ear
harvesting skills would not be
required to become a resident of
Hamville.
 
        When Digipeter Rabbit heard
of the decree, he sent envoys to
Hamville with all the latest
scientific discoveries, which he
shared freely with the residents.  The
residents of Hamville seized upon the
new knowledge and soon Hamville became
revitalized.  Its population began to
increase as young rabbits were
attracted to its bountiful open
farmland.  The Field Carrot Council,
impressed by the renaissance in
Hamville, did not take away any more
of its land, but actually gave some
new territory to Hamville.  Everyone
was amazed at the new vibrancy of
Hamville.
 
        Charlie Whiskey, though sad
that his beloved harvesting method was
no longer in vogue, saw that his
people were prospering and was glad.
And to show that there were no hard
feelings, Charlie Whiskey sent
Digipeter Rabbit a packet of 73
carrots which he had picked himself
-- with his ears.
 
        The residents of Hamville
rejoiced and declared a festival to
celebrate their new prosperity.  And
over the front door of the Hamville
Festival they put a banner, which
read: "A bunny's worth is measured
not by the skill of his ears, but by
what lies between them."  The
residents of Hamville had learned an
important lesson.

 - THE END -