From Cole.Tuininga@unh.edu Mon Feb 17 17:30:34 1997
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 97 19:30:03 EST
From: Egon <Cole.Tuininga@unh.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: End of the world?


[Note - making the rounds, no attribution could be located - ed.]

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?
       
     USA Today:
      WE'RE DEAD

     The Wall Street Journal:
      DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

     National Enquirer:
      O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

     Playboy:
      GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

     Microsoft Systems Journal:
      APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

     Victoria's Secret Catalog:
      OUR FINAL SALE

     Sports Illustrated:
      GAME OVER

     Wired:
      THE LAST NEW THING

     Rolling Stone:
      THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

     Readers Digest:
      'BYE

     Discover Magazine:
      HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
      AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

     TV Guide:
      DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

     Lady's Home Journal:
      LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

     America Online:
      SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN.  TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

     Inc. magazine:
      TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

     Microsoft's Web Site:
      IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE,
      DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.

     Sun:
      ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!

--
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